Olga & Simone’s Cooking Disasters

1 cup (136g) self-raising flour

1 cup (236ml) semi-skimmed milk

1 free-range egg

1 pinch sea salt

1 fruit (pear, apple, banana, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries)

a few knobs butter

fat-free natural yoghurt, to serve

runny honey, to serve

1

Put the flour, milk, egg and salt in a mixing bowl and whisk until smooth. Once combined, grate in the fruit, core and all then stir it through with a spoon.

2

Put a large pan on a medium heat and add a knob of butter. Once that melts, add the batter, a spoonful at a time to the hot pan. You’ll need to cook them in batches, cooking them for a few minutes until golden on the bottom, then flipping over and cooking for a few minutes more until they’re done.

3

When they are golden and fluffy, serve them right away with a dollop of natural yoghurt and some runny honey drizzled all over the top. The batter will keep as good as gold in the fridge for a day or two if there’s any left over.

1 oz (1 part) Gin

1 oz (1 part) Campari

1 oz (1 part) Sweet red Vermouth

1 slice orange

Ice cubes

1

Stir into glass over ice.

2

Add orange slice (slightly squeeze some orange juice into the glass first).

3

Serve on the rocks.

3 free-range eggs

Pinch of salt

2 medium ripe bananas, peeled and broken into pieces

1 tablespoon raw honey, maple syrup or coconut syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla extract or essence

2 1/2 tablespoons coconut oil

2 tablespoons desiccated coconut

125 grams almond meal (1 1/4 - 1 1/2 cup)

2 tablespoons tapioca flour (or 1 tablespoons coconut flour)

1 teaspoon cinnamon powder

Pinch of nutmeg (optional)

1 teaspoon gluten free baking powder

3 tablespoons walnuts, chopped

3-4 dried apricots, chopped up OR 50gr dried cranberries

75gr (or to taste) dark chocolate chips, optional

1

Preheat oven to 165°C (330°F). Brush a loaf tin with coconut oil and line the bottom non-stick baking paper.

2

Place eggs with a pinch of salt in a large mixing bowl and whisk until thick and foamy.

3

Add mashed banana, honey, vanilla, and coconut oil and whisk together until well incorporated.

4

Add almond meal, baking powder, tapioca, nutmeg, cinnamon and desiccated coconut and mix together well.

5

Fold in walnuts and dried fruit and pour the batter into the prepared tin.

6

Smooth the surface and place a few walnuts on the top.

1/4 cup coconut oil melted

2 tbsp 100% pure maple syrup

1 pint fresh blueberries

1 cup almond flour

1/2 cup coconut milk

1/4 cup coconut flour

1/4 cup raw organic honey

2 eggs

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp bourbon vanilla

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

pinch of sea salt

1

Preheat your oven to 190 degrees Celsius.

2

Pour your melted coconut oil and maple syrup in your cake pan.

3

Now put the entire pint of blueberries in the pan as well, they should cover pretty much the entire bottom of the pan.

4

Place this in the preheating oven for about 5 minutes.

5

While your oven is preheating, combine all remaining ingredients in your mixing bowl and mix well using your hand mixer or by hand.

6

Take your cake pan out of the oven (with the berries) and then add in your cake batter and use a spoon to ensure an even distribution throughout the cake pan.

7

Once your oven is preheated, place your pan in and bake for about 20 minutes or until your cake passes the toothpick test.

8

Remove from the oven and let cool.

9

Once cool, place a plate on top of the pan and then flip it over putting the blueberries on top.

1 cup pumpkin puree

2 tablespoons coconut cream (thick cream that forms on the top of a can of full fat coconut milk when left in the fridge overnight, or on top of a can of coconut milk that hasn’t been stirred in a while)

3 tablespoons coconut oil, melted

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup raw honey

2 cups almond flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons flaxseed meal

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/2 cup pecans

1/4 cup raw cacao powder

handful chocolate chunks

1

In a medium bowl, whisk together the pumpkin puree, coconut cream, coconut oil, eggs, vanilla and honey.

2

In a large bowl, mix the almond flour, baking soda, salt, flaxseed meal and cinnamon.

3

Chop the pecans in a food processor and mix with the almond flour mixture

4

Using a rubber spatula, gently mix dry ingredients into wet to form a batter. Do not over mix. The batter will be thick.

5

Remove two cups of the batter and pour the remaining batter in an 8½ x 4½-inch medium loaf pan greased or lined with parchment paper.

6

Take one cup of reserved batter and mix in the cacao powder. Evenly spread on top of the batter in the pan.

7

Top chocolate batter layer with the remaining one cup of reserved batter and using a knife gently swirl the layers of batter together. Do not over swirl or it will become all chocolate.

8

Sprinkle chocolate chunks on top and bake at 190°C until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean, approximately 40 minutes.

60 grams (1/4 cup) coconut oil, softened

60 grams (1/4 cup) whole almond butter (or other smooth nut butter)

125 grams (1/3 cup + 2 tablespoons) honey

the zest of an organic orange, finely grated

4 eggs, separated

100 grams (1 cup) almond flour (= almond meal or ground almonds)

160 grams (1 cup + 2 tablespoons) poppy seeds

a good pinch of salt

1

Preheat the oven to 180° C (350° F) and grease a 20-cm (8-inch in diameter and 2-inch-deep) round cake pan. (Alternatively, you can bake the batter in paper-lined muffin molds; the recipe will yield 10 regular muffins.)

2

In the bowl of a mixer, combine the coconut oil, almond butter, 100 grams (1/3 cup) honey, and the orange zest. Cream together for 2 minutes. Add the egg yolks and mix until fluffy.

3

Combine the almond flour and poppy seeds in a medium bowl. Set aside for 5 minutes and then freeze for 2 hours to prevent the poppy seeds from turning to oil in the mixing (freezing can be skipped).

4

In a clean, grease-free bowl, place the egg whites and salt. Using an electric whisk, beat until the egg whites are fluffy. Add the remaining 25 grams (2 tablespoons) of honey, and keep beating until the egg whites form a smooth and glossy mass.

5

Working with a light hand, add one third of the egg whites to the first mixture. Fold in half of the poppy seed mixture. Add another third of the egg whites, folding it in gently with a spatula. Fold in the remaining poppy seed mixture, and add the last of the egg whites, working very gently to keep as much air as possible in the egg whites, until the egg whites are completely incorporated. Don’t worry if the mixture is a little lumpy.

6

Pour into the prepared pan and bake for 30 minutes (20 minutes for muffins), until puffy and lightly brown. Turn the oven off and leave the cake inside to set for another 10 minutes.

7

Transfer to a cooling rack, let cool for 10 more minutes. Run a knife around the cake to loosen, unmold, and let cool completely before glazing, if possible.

100g raw cashews (soaked in water for 15 minutes, then drained + rinsed)

Flesh of 1 mango

2/3 cup coconut milk (165ml)

50g coconut oil

50g raw honey

1 tbs. Natvia

1 tsp. 100% vanilla extract

Mixed berries for the sauce

1

Place all of the ingredients into your food processor and whiz on high speed for around 5 minutes or until super dooper smooth.

2

Spoon the mix into 6 silicon muffin moulds, you could also use separate ramekins.

3

Place these into the freezer for an hour. When ready to serve turn out the raw puddings + garnish with your favourite berries.

2/3 cup melted coconut oil

1/2 cup honey

1/2 cup unsweetened oat milk

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 chocolate chips

1

Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F). Brush a tin with coconut oil or line the bottom non-stick baking paper.

2

In a large bowl mix the oil and honey until mixed. Then add the milk and stir until mixed.

3

Stir in the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt until dough forms.

4

Stir in chocolate chips.

5

Form cookies by dropping dough about 5cm apart onto the tin.

6

Bake 11 to 14 minutes or until edges are light brown and tops look set.

7

Remove from oven and wait until completely cool.

150g zucchini finely grated

250g spelt flour

2 tablespoons cacao powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon powder

Pinch of salt

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda (natron)

2 tablespoons cream of tartar backing powder (weinstein backpulver)

190g cane sugar (rohrohrzucker)

250ml soy milk

2 tablespoons lemon juice

80ml sunflower oil (sonnenblumenöl)

100g raspberries (himbeeren)

1

Mix in a bowl the flour, cacao, cinnamon, salt, bicarbonate of soda, and backing powder.

2

Add the zucchini to the bowl and mix together until forming a dough.

3

In another bowl, mix the sugar, soy milk, lemon juice and oil.

4

Add the milk mixture to the zucchini mixture and stir until there are no flour knots.

5

Add the raspberries to the mixture and stir gently.

6

Smir oil on a muffin backing tray and pour the mixture into each muffin container, making sure that only one or two rasperries are used per muffin.

7

Pre-heat the oven at 170C (recirculating heat) or at 190C.

8

Place the muffins in the oven for 25 minutes.

2 cups masarepa: Masarepa is dehydrated cooked corn meal. This recipe calls for white, but they can be freely substituted. Popular brands include Goya and P.A.N.

2 1/2 cups water

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup crumbled ricotta salata or grated mozzarella cheese

1 teaspoon oil

1

Pour the water into a container. Add the salt and the corn meal gradually.

2

Add cheese to taste.

3

Knead until a smooth dough is formed and let rest for 3 minutes.

4

Take a small piece of dough into your hand and shape it into a ball. Then press it with your palm to form a large patty shape of about 10cm in diameter (you cna make them smaller if you wish). If the dough gets stuck to your hand, you can use oil or add more water.

5

Place onto a griddle or frying pan over meadium heat for 5 minutes on each side. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

1 medium onion (finely chopped)

2 tomatoes (ripe, finely chopped)

3 cloves garlic (minced)

4 spring onions (finely chopped)

1/2 green capsicum (about 1/3 cup finely chopped) - optional

3 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 teaspoon cumin

1 package saffron (Sazón Goya con azafrán, about 2 teaspoons)

1/4 cup cilantro (leaves, coarsely chopped)

1 pinch salt

1 pinch pepper (to taste)

1

Place the chopped onions, tomatoes, green onions, green pepper, garlic, olive oil, cumin, and sazón goya (or seasoning of preference) in a large skillet with the olive oil.

2

Cook mixture over medium heat, stirring often, until the vegetables are soft and fragrant, about 10 minutes.

3

Add the cilantro and continue to cook for about 5 more minutes, until the mixture is very soft and well mixed. Remove from heat and let cool.

4

Hogao can be stored for up to a week in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

1 cup long grain white (or jasmin) rice

2 cups water

1 teaspoon oil

1 pinch salt (to taste)

1

Place all ingredients in a pot and cover with a lid.

2

Cook at normal heat until rice is dry (about 15 to 20). Do not stir.

3

If on an electric stove, turn heat off and leave the rice on rest heat, otherwise cook for 5 more minutes on low-heat.

8 Vanilla Beans

250ml Vodka, Spiced Rum, Brandy or Bourbon

1 Glass Bottle

1

Slice each bean once long-ways and place in bottle. (If it helps to cut them into smaller, tootsie roll-sized pieces so they fit in the bottle more easily, go for it).

2

Pour the alcohol of your choice into the bottle. Make sure vanilla beans are completely submerged.

3

Store in a dark place, away from sunlight.

4

Shake once or twice a week.

5

Wait about 2-3 months.

5

After 2-3 months the vast majority of the extraction process is complete. At this point, the vanilla is ready to use and the vanilla beans can be removed. If the vanilla beans are left in the bottle, the flavour will continue to evolve just like a fine wine (just be sure the beans are always submerged in alcohol)..

500g beans

carrots to taste (cut in small pieces)

mixed herbs

2 teaspoons cumin

salt to taste

5 spoons tomato paste

2 cups Colombian Hogao, dont add cumin to the hogao or add less cumin to this recipe

2 avocados (to serve, optional)

4 fried eggs (to serve, optional)

Arepas (to serve, optional)

Rice (to serve)

1 cup (210g) red lentils, rinsed well

4 small potatoes, peeled and cut into small squares (optional)

3 cm fresh ginger, sliced

2 bay leaves

1 cinnamon stick

2 tablespoons (40g) butter

1 large onion, finely chopped

2 cloves garlic, crushed

2 teaspoons turmeric

1 teaspoon cumin

1/2 teaspoon garam masala

1/2 teaspoon chilli flakes or a fresh chilli finely chopped

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1/2-1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon chopped coriander leaves

Naan bread or pappadums, to serve

1

Place lentils, potatoes, ginger, bay leaves and cinnamon in a large saucepan with 3 cups (711ml) of cold water. Bring to the boil, reduce the heat to medium and simmer, stirring to prevent sticking for 10-12 minutes. Discard spices and set aside.

2

Heat the butter in a large frying pan over a medium high heat. Add the onion and cook for 3 minutes. Stir in the garlic, turmeric, cumin, garam masala and chilli and cook for a further minute or until fragrant. Stir in the lemon juice and season to taste with salt.

3

Add the lentils to the pan and mix well. Cook for a further 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat.

4

Stir in coriander and serve hot with naan bread or pappadums.

150ml hand-hot milk

2 teaspoons caster sugar

2 teaspoons dried active yeast

450g plain flour

0.5 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 tablespoons vegetable oil, plus a little extra

150ml natural yogurt

1 large egg, lightly beaten

1

Put the milk in a bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar, and the yeast. Stir to mix. Set aside for 15-20 minutes or until the yeast has dissolved and the mixture is frothy.

2

Sift the flour, salt and baking powder into a large bowl. Add the remaining 1 teaspoon sugar, the yeast mixture, 2 tablespoons vegetable oil, the yogurt and egg. Mix and form a ball of dough.

3

Empty the ball of dough on to a clean surface and knead it for 10 minutes or more, until it is smooth and satiny. Form into a ball. Pour about 0.25 teaspoon oil into a large bowl and roll the ball of dough in it. Cover the bowl with a piece of cling film and set aside in a warm, draught-free place for an hour or until the dough has doubled in bulk.

4

Pre-heat your oven to the highest temperature. Put the heaviest baking tray you own to heat in the oven. Pre-heat your grill.

5

Punch down the dough and knead it again. Divide into 8 small OR 6 large equal balls. Keep the rest of them covered while you work with one ball. Roll this ball into a tear-shaped naan. Remove the hot baking tray from the oven and slap the naan on to it. Put it immediately into the oven for 3-5 minutes (until it puffs up). Now place the baking tray and naan under the grill, about 7.5-10cm away from the heat, for about 30 seconds or until the top of the naan browns slightly. Wrap the naan in a clean tea towel. Make all the naans this way and serve hot.

3 inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and grated

8 cloves garlic, chopped

1 teaspoon turmeric

4 tablespoons natural yoghurt

1 teaspoon crushed black peppercorns

1 kg quality lamb shoulder, cut into big cubes OR 500g chicken and 500g hard tofu cut into pieces

5 medium-sized red onions, halved

2 red peppers, halved and deseeded

4 fresh red chillies, deseeded

1 tablespoon green cardamom pods

½ tablespoon whole cloves

1 stick cinnamon

2 tablespoons coriander seeds

4 small dried red chillies

1 splash vegetable oil

2 teaspoons paprika

600 g tinned chopped tomatoes

1/2 tablespoon salt

to serve: sliced chilli, coconut shavings, chopped coriander, chopped mint

1

In a bowl that’s big enough to fit all the cubed meat in, mix the ginger and the garlic together. Add the turmeric, yoghurt and black pepper to the bowl and mix together. Tip the meat into the bowl and stir it around until it’s well coated with the yoghurt and spices. Cover and leave overnight in the fridge to marinate.

2

Preheat your oven to 170ºC/325ºF/gas 3. Chop your onions and peppers roughly and whiz them in a food processor with the fresh red chillies.

3

Put the pan you are going to cook the curry in on the medium heat and add the cardamom, cloves, cinnamon and coriander. Toast until they go a shade darker in colour, then pour into a pestle and mortar and grind up with the dried red chillies.

4

Keep the pan on the heat and add a splash of vegetable oil. Add the whizzed onion, peppers and chilli paste from the food processor with the ground up spices and paprika.

5

Cook over a gentle heat for about 10 minutes. By now, lots of delicious curry smells will be coming out of the pot.

6

Add the tomatoes, the marinated meat and HALF a pint of water (284.130742 millilitres), and stir well.

7

When the curry comes to a boil add the salt, cover tightly with a lid and place in your preheated oven. You can basically forget about it now, as all the hard work is done. Just wait 2 hours and carefully take the pot out of the oven.

1kg natural yogurt

1 large cucumber peeled and cut in small cubes

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp. olive oil

2 mashed garlic cloves

half a bunch dill

water to taste (333ml)

1

Mix it all together.

1/4 loaf of yesterdays bread (crust off)

4 or 5 ripe tomatoes

3/4 cucumber (peeled & rough chopped)

1 red (or green to make the soup green) capsicum (deseeded & rough chopped)

1 garlic clove, (peeled)

Spanish Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Sherry or red wine vinegar

Sea salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1

Prick each tomato with a knife, cover with boiling water for about 30 seconds. Take out and peel.

2

Slice bread and place in a bowl. Pour over 100ml of water to soak.

3

Blend the cucumber, green capsicum, garlic and peeled tomatoes.

4

Add the soaked bread, a good glug of olive oil and a small splash of vinegar. Continue blending.

5

Taste soup, season with salt and pepper, and a good splash of water to loosen the mixture. Whiz again.

6

Re-taste and re-season if necessary.

7

Pour into a jug, and keep in the fridge to chill.

250g feta cheese

4 spoons natural yogurt

1 grated tomatoe without skin

2 tsp. tomatoe paste

2 tsp. olive oil

1 or 2 mashed garlic cloves

2 tsp. mixed herbs

black pepper to taste

chilli powder to taste

1

Mix it all together.